Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize
