just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
