you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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