You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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