The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
