Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
