There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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