Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
