she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
