I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
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