wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
