Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize