hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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