i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
