did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
