So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
