Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I think I just sharted jello shots
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
