Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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