Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
