you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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