If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
