i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
