So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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