u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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