we should wear snuggies to the strip club
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
