i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
