that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I am available for nakedness
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
