can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
