she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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