how can u be prego again
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
