I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize