Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
