OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
