getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
