i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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