I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I have feelings that need drinking.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
