I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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