kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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