they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize