party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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