he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
