Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
