her vagine was all disorganized.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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