just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
