He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize