he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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