why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
