i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he was CRYING into my vagina
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize