Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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