just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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