I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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