I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
