I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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