it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
