I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
