Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
