i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
We have so much sex to catch up on
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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