I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize