I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm going to jail i love you
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
