so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
