i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
