Jerry, you need to find god
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
