I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
