The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
